Can you point me toward Tanzaku or give me some sake?
by Momiji D
Summary: After the 4th war, the Godaime went on a holiday, everything was fine. Until a drunk Tsunade found herself in the warring states era. And. No. One. Will. Stop. Her. From. Having. Fun. Disclaimer : I own nothing.


**Disclaimer : I own nothing**

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Can you point me toward Tanzaku or give me some sake?

After she finally finished her services as the Godaime Hokage, Tsunade needed to travel again across the world. She thought of Jiraiya one last time before partying with the others - Kakashi's reign as the sixth Hokage had finally started!

The poor boy looked a little lost, but she knew he would do a better job than her.

Tsunade went to see her two students. Sakura was the new official chief of the hospital - although every medic-nin knew that she was implicitly the chief since the start of the war. Shizune has decided to stay in Konoha and join Tsunade in one or two months - the girl was really faithful! And even if Tsunade told her she could stay and enjoy life in Konoha, Shizune snorted '_and who is going to calculate your debts and feed you'_, Tonton oinked in agreement.

Tsunade joyfully started her trip across every casino until she found herself in a new type of trouble.

She finally won something - and wasn't that already alarming? - it was a weird stone which glowed like a ruby with some kind of Uzumaki seal on it.

Now, if Tsunade had been of sound and mind, she would have sent the stone to Konoha or analyzed the stone before sending it. Sadly, Tsunade was drunk and found the glowing stone pretty.

She managed to complete the seal - she did have Uzumaki blood in her - and instead of a pretty ruby, she found a red light. More precisely, the red light found her, and suddenly she was transported in a world raging with battles.

"Shit, isn't this the warring states Era?"

The woman fainted either from shock, sake or Chakra exhaustion.

* * *

It had been a fortnight, since Tsunade time traveled. The blonde believed in herself, she knew that she will find a way to go back in time. Besides, if she couldn't escape, she could join the Senju.

"Mmh, are both of my grandfathers even born ?" the blonde crossed her arm on her full chest.

Whatever, if the Senju wouldn't accept her, she will just go to the Uzumaki's - grandmother Mito always said they had a good recipe of sushi.

The Godaime Hokage of Konoha decided to not worry and continue her travel peacefully. She lived such a long life and since that white Zetsu's genes… She was now legitimately thirty years old. Although she would have preferred twenty - her breast had been smaller.

Tsunade traveled scarcely - she only had her backpack, some clothes and the wrong currency - she enjoyed nice sake when she could and played nice games in all the bars. Sadly, casino hadn't been made yet, and wasn't that a sacrilege?

Then, she heard an interesting piece of information.

"Did you hear about that game of wheel in Tanzaku?"

"Oh yes! I would love to play it, I heard they had many types of games."

Jackpot. Of course, she should have gone to Tanzaku! Finally, she will be able to play familiar games.

"Yosh!" shouted Tsunade before taking her backpack and rushing toward Tanzaku.

Maybe she should have thought more about the political situation during this time. However, Tsunade was on holidays, and nobody should interrupt her holidays.

Sadly, no one told that information to the Senju and the Uchiha.

* * *

"No Tobirama!" shouted Hashirama.

His brother had fatally injured Madara's brother.

"No." muttered Madara.

The older Uchiha rushed toward his younger sibling who fell harshly on the ground.

"Aniki, you mustn't accept peace with the Senjus. See, what they will do? And they still speak of peace." spat Izuna, blood falling from his lips.

"Izuna…"

Hashirama could only watch as his proposition for peace would fail again.

"Oy! Get out of my way, where the heck is Tanzaku?"

Everyone - even the wounded Izuna - turned to look at the blonde haired woman. Her Chakra, concluded everyone, was Senju's and from the main branch at that.

_Did their father have an affair with an Uzumaki_, thought Tobirama who could sense Chakra better than everyone else. _Although, the blonde was new, Uzumakis always had red or auburn hair_.

"Oy woman! Can't you see that our commander is dying ? How dare you!" asked rudely an Uchiha.

The blonde-haired woman cocked her head to the right, her arms crossing below her large chest. She was dressed scandalously for a Senju. She wore no armor but she had high Chakra.

"Ah? I see nobody dying boy. So will you kindly shut up and point me where the heck I can find Tanzaku?" asked the woman in a loud voice, she was bold.

She walked as if she was a leader and approached without any caution the middle of the battleground.

Madara glared harshly.

"Can't you see my brother dying wrench."

Izuna coughed up some blood.

The woman snorted.

Tobirama had never been so shocked. Hashirama looked as appalled as his brother, and he was the peaceful and accepting Senju.

"Please, his lung is just pierced, just heal him." dissed the blonde.

Hashirama's temper started to show itself.

"Woman. How dare you disrespect a fallen shinobi? I can feel your experimented Chakra, you must know that he will die from this wound." harshly concluded Hashirama.

Madara froze.

"Ah, right, nearly no one learn medical jutsu in this Era." stated the blonde.

The blonde approached the Uchiha brothers and pushed away the big brother. Madara could smell the sake from her clothes, was this woman drunk?

Her hand coated in green Chakra found itself on Izuna's wound.

"Aah! W-what are you doing you weird woman! How dare you touch me?" hissed Izuna.

"Mmh, could you shut up, I need to concentrate. " ordered the blonde.

Madara - and everyone actually - watched in fascination as the wound on Izuna's closed itself. The pale man gained more color.

"Who are you to tell me to shut up!" started Izuna.

And then, the woman did something no one could have predicted. Instead of apologizing, she slapped harshly Izuna's cheek - his head turned to the right, his eyes were full of disbelief and he stopped speaking.

" D-did that woman just slap Uchiha Izuna?" asked a warrior from the Senju clan voice full of incredulity.

Madara exchanged a glance with Hashirama - no, he didn't know her.

"Now you're healed." the woman got up. She put her hands on her full hips and turned toward Madara. "Oye, you, the porcupine one, tell me where can I find Tanzaku?"

Tobirama discreetly masked his laugh.

A random Uchiha warrior, whose hairstyle also looked like a porcupine spoke.

"Err, it's this way ma'am. You have to walk some kilometers and it'll be there."  
Another Uchiha pinched the Uchiha's cheek muttering "why did you give her those indications idiot."

"Thank you." the blonde smiled and walked away.

"Did that just happen or was it a genjutsu?" asked Senju Toka.

"Aren't you supposed to be the expert here?" commented Tobirama, he could already feel a new headache coming.

"Aniki, that woman slapped my cheek." said Izuna shyly.

"Hn."

Madara was still lost.

"Wasn't she pretty?" continued Izuna, his cheeks flushed a bright pink.

"Izuna. No. Just no."

Madara wanted to lay down on his bed. He didn't need to know his brother was a masochist.

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**\- The end? **


End file.
